All I Want For Xmas
by cupidity11
Summary: What do you get when you add a young boy's wish for an alien, a kissing crystal, and strange Christmas themed vanishings? A really, odd ZaDr holiday special that is out of this world.
1. Chapter 1 Part 1

**All I Want For X-Mas**

_CHAPTER 1 Part 1_

It was the night before Christmas and all through the Membrane household not a creature was stirring…well unless you count a skinny, pale, large headed boy at about the age of 8 as a creature.

Dib's glasses, which were much to large for his face began slipping down as the boy peered around the corner and into the living room where their scrawny tree stood, with its bare branches. Well, bare except for a few tiny bulbs in the shapes of various mythical creatures; bigfoot, moth men, werewolves, monsters of the unusual sorts and of course UFOs.

Dib loved UFOs. Well, he loved the paranormal in general. But, to be as specific as possible, Dib loved Aliens. He adored what they stood for. Life outside of this tiny, crude planet. How they had so many possibilities. So much amazing technology. And of course those funny limbs and eyes.

The little(well not so little anymore) boy skidded out from behind his cover, now that he was satisfied that there was no tall and imposing father or scary, pig loving sister to distract him from his very important work. The trench coat that he'd thrown on over his pajamas swirled in that dramatic way, as Dib scuttled to the wall behind the tree and flicked the switch. Instantly the room lit up, as the individual bulbs on their tree glistened.

Satisfied, the boy slid in front of the tree and stared up at it with two too big auburn eyes. He shoved a skinny hand into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope, unfolding and uncrinkleing as best as he could. On the white parchment was the address; The North Pole. Santa's Work Shop.

The boy scoffed and dropped it to the ground where he sat with his legs crossed in front of his tree, alone on Christmas Eve. For the last nearly 8 years Dib had sent letters nearly year round to this address, only to have them returned. Unlike a lot of people, Dib hadn't given up. He'd tried different variations on it. The results were always the same.

Most kids his age had already stopped believing in the jolly ol' fat man. Found out through some incident. Or their parents told them that Santa had never existed. Dib was neither of these types of kids. He was unusual in many ways.

His father had never made it a secret that Santa didn't exist. He'd told Dib point blank from the time he was a small child that Santa was not real. The boy could still remember the hatred reserved for Father Christmas. Membrane had always had something against this holiday. It was why Dib almost always celebrated alone.

So, no. Dib never had anyone try to make him believe in Santa's existence. He just had. But, now that was beginning to dissolve as sure as sugar did in warm tea. Sighing, the young boy, looked at the small, hanging UFO strung up on one of the rickety branches. His brow furrowed.

Maybe the lazy sod didn't read his letters. Maybe…like that God fellow, he answered to prayers. He was a Father and an angel apparently. After a few more seconds of debate inside his mind, which he spent mostly biting the inside of his cheek and looking pretty conflicted, Dib nodded to himself and sat up on his knees, fingers intertwined.  
>At least he thought this was how you did it. Dib had never done this before. Never prayed. Never been religious. When your father was a scientist…<p>

"Hello Santa." Without meaning to Dib made an awkward wave at nothing. "Um. Look, you never answered any of my letters. Ever. I don't know if you're just really busy…or if you're a jerk. But, I'm giving this a shot in case you care." The thought occurred to him to sweeten his tone a bit. Maybe, suck up to the ol' man. Clearing his throat of a nonexistent obstruction, Dib began.

"This year for Christmas, I want something really special. Which if you've been reading my stuff, you would know. It's not a bike. Which I've gotten four years in a row. And…I know that you mainly probably deal with the poorer kids considering that I've never really received anything from you before." Every present he'd ever gotten had been from his Father, who was a very rich and famous scientist. "But, um…I'm thinking…hoping that this year you'll make an exception. I know its short notice…"

Dib rolled his eyes. It wasn't short notice at all. The letters had been sent weeks ago. "I don't want anything really fancy. No basketballs, or balls in general really….I truly don't play any sports. Or any sort of toy either." The boy shook his head to emphasize his point, his odd shaped hair swinging with the movement.

"I want," golden eyes flew once more to the glistening, metal UFO hanging a bit above his head. "an alien." The boy paused for dramatic effect, being all about the dramatics and hoping that there would be some sign by now that his weird prayer was being heard.  
>Disappointment was buried under hope and Dib kept going.<p>

"Yanno'. A little green guy…around, I don't know, three feet high. With all the eyes and who can fly….not a foreign person from outside the county." He added just in case Santa was stupid or a smart aleck. "He can sleep in my bath tub. I'll pad it with blankets so it'll be nice and comfy. And, and during the spring, when it's warmer I'll take him for walks…and when it's WAY too hot outside, and sticky we'll watch X-Files with the lights off, and eat popcorn and drink soda."

Those orange eyes were too big, too filled with hope and yearning as they stared at the Christmas tree, trying to will his wish into existence. "I promise Santa, I'll take good care of him. We'll be best friends."

Satisfied with his prayer, Dib stuck his tongue out, considering how to end it. "I would be grateful if you could get him here as soon as possible…I don't have money to pay shipping though…" Dib decided that, that didn't matter and shrugged before ending with, "amen."

His business finished, the eight year old pushed to his feet and scampered off, glancing back at the tree only once before crawling off to bed to await the next morning. All night he tossed and turned with visions of a friend, a green kid with a happy smile who could him the universe. Who would understand him and believe in him.

-****-****-

Nothing came the next morning. There was no alien. Just a science kit from his father.  
>Dib was eight years old when he gave up on hoping and wishing for things. Dib was nine years old when he decided that the only to get what you wanted was to go out and get it yourself. And Dib was on the peak between ten and eleven when an Alien Invader walked into his 5th grade classroom and changed his life forever.<p>

Christmas would never be the same.

**SEVEN YEARS LATER**

**Three Days Till X-Mas:**

Snow fell. It was expected and accepted by seemingly everyone. In fact most of the time it was even anticipated. A break from the usually sweltering heat. Kids ran around, tongues stuck out to try to catch the flakes. Their hands grew cold as they built snow men. Cheeks pinkened. Giggles rang out in the blanket of silence caused by the white flood.

And Zim screamed.

He hated the snow. Perhaps even more than rain because it was cold. Colder than anything he'd ever encountered. It was a sly thing, seemingly harmless until it melted into deadly water. So, yeah, the maniac screamed and ran down the side walk, clutching the stolen trench coat above his head as he did so.

"Zim! You moron!" Dib yelled, his own boots sinking into the three inch drifts. Perhaps, if they had been in any other town the people would've wondered what had happened, been alarmed. However, the folks didn't so much as blink as the two boys ran by, casting snow in every direction.

Dib panted as he finally caught up to the panicking alien and swerved so he cut into Zim's path. He snatched the coat away from greedy claws and glared. "Come on, Zim. It's fine. You're wearing your own jacket, not to mention gloves, two hats and a scarf." He shoved his arms back into his only shield, shivering with the blessed heat. Zim pouted.

Dib recognized the lip as it protruded, the predictable the heat sparking in the hidden magenta eyes. He rolled his own hazel eyes and reached over, twirling their fingers together. His five digits fit perfectly with the alien's three. "Put that away. "His other hand poked Zim's bottom lip. "Come on. We'll go to my place. It's dry there."

The irken didn't pull away from the intertwined digits, but he looked insulted with the lip poking.

Zim gritted his teeth and sniffed indignantly. "Fine, fine." Relieved that the alien was obeying, they began walking, and then paused suddenly, nearly jerking the human's arm out of its socket. "Will there be hot chocolate?" Zim asked, as if it was of dire importance. Dib hid a smirk, putting on a serious face.

"Naturally. With the milk of course." Zim nodded decisively, satisfied now that he knew there would be a warm, delicious treat waiting for them.

"Good."

Together they walked down the side walk, avoiding people, a companionable silence between them as their hands remained entwined and inconspicuous. They turned up Dib's house pathway, ignoring the electric fences as they activated from the movement, melting the snow that had gathered around them. The house was the only one on the block that wasn't decked out with lights and tinsel. This didn't bother the teenager. In fact he preferred it this way.

Shoving open the door, Zim let go of the human's bare hand and walked forward into the warm household, trying not to show how relieved he was to be in doors, even if it was in his enemies' base. As always, the revolting sibling unit was on the couch, head bent, fingers flying over the latest gaming device and disregarding them resolutely.

"Shut the door," She growled, not even pausing. Dib rolled his eyes and obeyed.

"Like I was going to leave it open." He whispered, and walked towards the kitchen to prepare the promised drink. Zim tried not to act too eager as he hurriedly shed his extra layers and marched after the big headed boy.

Dib began pulling out the necessities; the hot chocolate packages, two huge mugs, and the milk. Zim couldn't drink the kind with water in it. He looked over as the alien walked into the kitchen and began to fuss with the little rack that held the spices, picking up one occasionally to study it closely.

His lips curled into a smile and he shook his head as he poured the packets into the mugs. His mind wandered during the task. When had he begun to think of Zim as anything more than an enemy? The answer was uncertain. Perhaps it had been a year ago, maybe a few months. Dib really had no idea. All he knew was that for a while now they'd been doing things like holding hands and talking normally, well as normally as they could.

They hadn't kissed. They barely touched aside from the hand thing and that was because Zim had gloves on. Dib put the mugs, filled with milk, into the microwave. The buttons beeped as he put in the time indicated on the packets. He turned and leaned on the oven to stare at Zim who was preoccupied investigating his normal kitchen, peering into cookie jars cautiously. So suspicious…

Was it bad that he'd begun to think things like dates and what it would be like to kiss Zim, to be allowed to kiss Zim? He was an alien after all. But…he hadn't really thought about turning Zim in or strapping him to an autopsy table in a while. And the irken hadn't spoken of taking over the world since his Tallest's call about a year and a half ago.

They did normal couple things…kind of, like drinking hot chocolate together, holding hands, spending time together—his musings were cut off, thankfully as the microwave beeped obnoxiously. With careful hands he removed the steaming mugs and turned around to put them down on the table. Zim was already in a chair, staring at his mug with single minded determination, eyes so serious. He could practically hear the alien's thoughts of dominating the cup, of drinking it into oblivion.

Dib bit on his bottom lip to stop the laughter. "Hey, space- monster. Want whipped cream?" Zim's eyes narrowed as he contemplated before nodding.

"Hurry though, Monkey-brain." Dib grabbed the whipped cream and quickly covered both their cups in the delicious treat. Before he was done, Zim had snatched the mug and was devouring the drink.

"Zim! Be careful it's—" Too late. The irken hissed and held the cup away, tongue sticking out, as he glared at the drink. "Hot."

"Vat is deh deaming of dis Dib?" Zim asked suspiciously, probably thinking he'd poisoned it or something. The human rolled his eyes and blew on his own drink.

"You need to wait until it's cooled down, moron. Haven't we talked about this before?" He reached over and blew on the irken's cup until the steam dissipated a bit. "There." He said, trying not to look at the ridged tongue for fear of blushing because of his thoughts involving it earlier.

Zim drunk deeply now, his whole focus on the mug. For a while they sat and enjoyed the silence until Zim's chocolate was gone and Dib had sipped the last of his. Together they went up to his room bickering, to do what they normally did; argue, yell and play a round of cards, perhaps talk and eventually end up with one of them being physically hurt.

-**-**-

A little group of carolers shuffled down the empty street, chattering in high pitched voices about their Christmas traditions. They were all dressed in warm, red clothes with plenty of fake fur and droopy Santa hats.

"Hey guys." One caroler said, sniffling a bit from the cold. "No one's around and I'm bored. We should pick a random song to sing and let the whole neighborhood hear it!" There was a chorus of 'yeahs' and 'woots'. It was so fun and Christmassy who would ever want to argue? So together they turned to a certain song and began to sing to the whole white drenched neighborhood.

_"You better watch out  
>You better not cry<br>Better not pout  
>I'm telling you why<br>Santa Claus is coming to town…" _

None of the morons aka jolly carolers heard the sound of snow crunching. Of branches shaking with ominous power. The sound of lightly jingling bells echoed softly in the white embrace of winter.  
>And no one in the surrounding houses heard the singing change to screaming. Mainly because there wasn't much of a difference in pitch.<p>

-**-**-

In one of the said houses, Dib scowled and pressed the buttons to activate the super sound proof shield. He scoffed and turned back to the irken who was messing around with an old invention of his. "Don't they ever listen? It's been four years. Freaking cut it out already!"

There was a resolute sounding click, followed by a satisfied hum from the alien. "Dib-Stink your theory is, as always, incorrect. You seem to be under the impression that any of the hyu-mans ever listen to you." Magenta eyes flickered to the frustrated man-child, before returning to his new toy. "And we both know that never happens."

Dib's shoulders sagged as he shuffled to his bed and flopped down on it face first. Zim rolled his eyes at the mellow dramatic behavior but, sat down next to the human. The springs popped and he smirked, liking the sound as always.

There was a series of muffled noises that came from the teen and the irken frowned, finally giving up on the old invention, throwing it across the room where it made a horrible crash. "Stop whining." He demanded, arms crossed as he glared down at Dib's overly large head. In response said boy flipped him off before rolling over onto his back to stare at Zim.

"I wasn't whining."

"Yes you were."

"Nu-uh."

"Yep. Whining like a new born smeet." Pause. "Or Gir before dinner." Dib was caught between being offended and giggling. So instead he just sighed and sat up, the bed springs straining with the weight of two boys.

"But, even if they didn't listen to me…you would think that they would gain some sort of common sense from the past years." Zim gave the boy a dry look before he rolled his eyes and scooted closer. For the warmth, he told himself resolutely.

"Don't be foolish, Dib-Brain. Hyu-mans are morons now and they'll always be morons. Pay them no notice." The alien demanded, satisfied now that their legs were touching. The boy's warmth spread so quickly that he shivered. He wished he could bottle the heat and keep it to himself. It was no fair that Dib got all of it.

The human opened his mouth to bark a response, or more likely to agree but then he noticed Zim's shiver and how close they were. Instead, a smile grew on his face. "Cold? Is the superior irken elite cold?"

Zim scowled and crossed his arms. "Of course not! How horribly ignorant of you, Dib-Monkey. I was merely eh," He looked around for inspiration. "stealing your brain cells through contac—ACHHT!" He screeched as Dib's arms wrapped around him, pulling him into the human's disgusting, dreadfully warm embrace.

"Let me go, you pathetic worm!" He squirmed, cursing Dib and his warmth and all his relations!

"No." The boy responded simply, a smug smirk on his face. "I don't want to."

"Do I look like I care what you want or not want to uh care about! Release Zim!"

Instead, Dib nuzzled the top of the alien's head, feeling that odd fluttering in his chest. It had come and gone these last several months. The irken was so tiny and fragile. Or at least it felt that way. Dib knew that the moron could hurt him severely with little to no thought.

Zim squirmed and fought for a good half an hour before growing tired and slumping into the heat. It wasn't so bad. He did like how warm it was. It was just the indignation of being held here so helplessly.

In the next ten minutes he managed to convince himself that it had been his plan all along. He kept his hands at his sides, unsure of what to do with them, but let his head fall against the boy's chest with no qualm. The steady thrumming of his inferior organ was soothing in the oddest way.

The teen's smile had faded to a dumbstruck sort of look. They'd touched before, sure. Obviously held hands and occasionally brushed together when walking. The punches and slapping and scratching had become second nature. This though…Dib shook his head gently, it just added onto his thoughts earlier. Were they really enemies anymore? Not at all.

Hadn't been for a long while. And Dib could see how their talking and laughing and constant together-ness could be considered friendly but, this…and his desire to do more…were they a couple?

The questions built up in him. Dib's left eye twitched with the force of them. And so, as he often did, he spoke without any sort of shield or thought of stopping himself. "Zim, are we a couple?" As soon as he asked, the overwhelming desire to throw himself over a cliff was overwhelming but it was out in the open so he tensed and waited for the alien's answer.

Zim was in, was could only be called, a trance. It was warm. Warmer than he could ever remember being. The steady sound of Dib's heart rang in his antenna and it was a soothing white noise to his thoughts about world conquest and sugary snacks. He didn't even mind the fact that the human's germs were getting all over him. He knew for a fact that the boy had showered not too long ago. The smell of mint shampoo assured him of that.

Then the words sunk like bricks into his little bubble of tranquil peace, popping it violently. Magenta eyes shot open as he thrust himself away so quickly he almost fell off the bed and would've if Dib hadn't held him fast.

"W-what? A couple? As in mushy gushy lovey-dovey filled with goo and vile twisties of rainbows an-and bombs of lurve?" Dib blinked, his ears ringing and a blistering flush working its wicked way up his cheeks. "No! Wha-at would lead you to believe this, Dib-uh smelly?" Zim quaked in his boots, having finally disentangled himself from the child.

It was a good thing too because in that second Dib would've let Zim go, falling to the hazardous floor. His expression darkened, usually bright amber eyes, a dull brown.

"No reason. None at all." His voice seemed rather dead too. The human stood up and walked away from the bed to sit in his computer chair. "Actually, Zim, I have to get a lot of work done before tomorrow."

Silence. The teen turned in his chair to see the alien's questioning look. "_So you should go._"

It finally hit Zim and Dib could see the purple eyes widen with comprehension.

"Oh." He cleared his throat and lifted his chin, the prideful wall throwing itself up to block out any uncertainty. "Of course. I have um, important tasks to get to as well."

Turning away the irken marched out of the room and down the stairs. He didn't look back as he opened the front door and didn't look back as he kicked up the snow on the walk way. He didn't even think of glancing back as he reached the halfway mark and it wasn't until he was in sight of his own house that he turned and stared back down the empty street. Shivers racked his body, part confusion, part pure cold. He'd left his coat and scarf and hat. Hell, he'd left his entire disguise.

Zim jeered and turned away from his own footsteps in the fresh snow to open his door and hurry inside. The house was blessedly heated; it should've made him feel better. It didn't. His spooch was clenched, his mind buzzing with too many questions. So, yeah his body wasn't shivering anymore. He still felt cold.

**END OF CHAPTER 1 PART 1**

**INTERMISSION**

**A.N.:**

I hope you enjoy. The next one will be up at 6:00.

Merry Jingly!

I don't own IZ.


	2. Chapter 1 Part 2

**All I Want For X-Mas**

**Chapter 1 Part 2 **

What was wrong with the Dib-pig?

Asking such ridiculous questions. Sending him away without a decent reason! Zim sniffed angrily, crossing his arms. "Stoopid worm child." The Dib had ruined a perfectly good evening. This was obviously not Zim's fault. All the hyuman's doing.

The knot in his spooch didn't loosen any.

Scoffing, the irken stormed across the living room, ignoring his robot on the couch, devouring the left over's of bacon and motor oil, turquoise eyes glued to the television.

Zim kicked a piece of junk from some long past battle on the floor, sending it into the wall. Sparks kicked up, catching something on fire. The computer immediately put it out.

Zim paid it no mind as he punched the code into his refrigerator and let it take him down to his lab. The mechanics whizzed and buzzed obnoxiously in the alien's silent stewing. His heels made little clacks on the metal floor as he stalked across the room to flop into his chair. It made no noise like the bed springs and it just ticked him off more.

His fingers went to the keys and stayed there. What had he wanted to type in? Something about an evil genius plan to destroy the earth. Something about the best ways to dissolve overly large, brunet haired heads. With a livid roar he yanked his hands back and crossed them over his frozen chest. Stoopid monkey boy! The Dib ruined everything. Why had he even raised that question tonight?

Maybe it was the moon. Sometimes humans did stupid things when the moon was full.

Zim spun in his chair since it helped him think from time to time, undisguised eyes catching the little strings of lights all over the lab tables and tubes of goo.

Bulbs hung from his tools and all around the computer screens there was this annoying shiny, tinsel stuff. A few days ago they'd teamed up and decorated the entire thing on a whim.

Frustrated, Zim stopped spinning and began to type. _'Couples'_ the screen read. A few more seconds of hesitation before a pointed claw pressed the enter button. Immediately, a slew of pictures and information popped up. He scanned it quickly, his spooch sinking. Yes, his idea of this word had been correct.

There was a male and female kissing. Another picture of hugging. And—he froze. Two hands intertwined, fitting together perfectly. His left eye twitched erratically.

Finally, at last, the question sunk its way into his head, demanding the attention that he'd been so reluctant to give to it; were they a 'couple'? They did the holding of the hands. They had um, bug like eyes squinted at the bright screen, cuddled. Did this automatically make them 'together'?

Zim tugged on his left antenna, his teeth cutting into his top lip with the anxious questions. So what if they were? The irken had never been in such a relationship before, besides the one with Tak and he imagined that didn't exactly count since they had never held hands or anything else of the sort.

Sniffing resentfully, the alien lifted his chin and glanced at the closest string of lights. The way it illuminated every normally shady, icy corner. The warm tawny color reminded him of the Dib's large eyes with their dancing laughter and stupid confused look. And when he thought about the way they'd dulled so quickly to such an ugly brown…  
>Another sharp pang cut through his spooch. "Stupid monkey brained moron…"<p>

His large magenta eyes swept over the large conjuration of couple-y pictures, catching and holding onto a picture of mistletoe. Zim spun to look at the lights. Huh. Perhaps, the answer all lay in this holiday nonsense.

-**-**-**-**-

The media really didn't go into a lot of detail when it came to these sort of unnatural occurrences and especially now, around Christmas, everyone was reluctant to be the bearer of bad news. So, when they did finally report the large increase in missing persons and mysterious break ins of many mall across the country, it was fourth in line behind the best toys for your child, time saving tips for all shoppers, heartwarming church donation stories and the Hobo with the Golden Voice.

And normally Dib's attention would've been snagged. This was a job for the world's savior and paranormal investigator extraordinaire. However, he wasn't watching the television, instead he was up in his dark, cold room moping. He'd carefully plugged every possible spot that could let light in and had flopped himself on his unmade bed, brow furrowed and hair limp.

With Skool out, all Dib had to do was think about his weirdness; the way he'd grown so hurt and angry when Zim had acted like the idea of them together was absurd. Which in a way it was. Enemies for years. Friends for barely more than a few months. And now he wants more?

Dib sighed and shook his head. Still, he couldn't deny that the idea of being with Zim in more than just a friendly way held appeal. Way more than it should've. More than his younger self, who had been so assured that they had hated each other, that they would be enemies forever wanted. At least if his frequently occurring dreams held any indication.

And there was still the slowly decreasing pit of denial that proclaimed that Zim would turn back to his evil alien ways at any moment. It had been months. If the irken hadn't tried to kill him by now Dib was fairly positive that Zim never would.

With a distressed groan, the teenager rolled over onto his face, fighting the childish urge to screech into his UFO shaped pillow. Despite all odds he ended up falling asleep that way.

Over a hundred miles away and up in the atmosphere, beyond what any creature's ears could pick up on, a earsplitting inhuman roar rung out, followed by a merry Christmas jingle.

**END OF CHAPTER 1 PART2**

**A.N.: This one is much shorter than that wall of text.**

**See you tomorrow.**

**Merry Jingly!**


	3. Chapter 2

**All I Want For X-Mas  
>Chapter Two<strong>

**Two Days Till Xmas:**

A whole day had passed and Dib was going to relapse. Not from any drug or drink but, from being around Zim. He'd become so used to yelling at his idiotic antics and actually smiling, laughing. Dib had tried to drink hot chocolate but it left him feeling lonely.

Then he listened to sappy music, but that only made him feel whiney and stupid.  
>The hours had passed, and eventually the sun set normally, except it bounced off the newest snow.<p>

It was also different because the teenager was sitting on his roof, arms wrapped around his knees as he stared up at the skies. Normally he was inside and on his laptop or at Zim's. Unbeknownst to Dib a sigh escaped, the fog from his breath fading slowly.

"Dib!" His sister's voice had him shuddering more than the cold. "Dad's burning some of our old Christmas stuff. You better come get anything that you don't want to be completely demolished for warmth."

The brooding teenager put his head on his knees. "No thanks. Don't want any of it." Good riddance, his internal voice said.

"Even this?" There was a small whooshing noise, followed by pain to the back of his head. It made a low 'thunk'. The kind that only hard plastic and skull can make.

"Urgh!" Dib's hand automatically cupped the back of his head, the other feeling around the roof for the offending piece of plastic. His fingers curled around the familiar shape and he held it in front of his face. The little disk was old, the silver paint nearly gray and when he pushed the little button on the bottom the green glowy lights flickered dimly.

Suddenly a memory rose up, long hidden and shoved behind logic, hatred, and lonliness. His younger self, praying to a Christmas tree, staring at this ornament and begging Santa for a friend, for an alien friend.

Golden eyes flickered towards the bright green house, that could be seen even without the aid of his nifty telescope. Zim was an alien. Was he the alien? Had Santa actually answered his prayer?

Dib's lips curled upwards in a small melancholy smile. Better late than never, right?  
>"Thanks, Gaz."<p>

"Whatever. Just stop being so emo and go do something about Zim." With those words of infinite wisdom, she turned on her heel in a swirl of smoke.

Dib smiled wider, fingers tightening on the little UFO. He had the perfect idea for a Christmas present for his alien. A hand dug into his pocket and pulled out his trusty Swiss army knife, checking it for any major flaws.

Yes…perfect.

A.N.:

I know that compared to yesterday's thing, it's REALLY short but, it's also extremely important. The one tomorrow is about as long as the very first one. It's the finale too. ^^


	4. Chapter 3 Part 1

**Chapter 3 Part 1  
>One Day Till X-Mas:<strong>

Zim's booted feet scuffled down the iced over side walk as fast as alien-ly possible, disguised eyes kept wide for any ugly human, or evil chuwhawha that might sneak up on him. In his hands there was a large box, nearly filled to the brim with shiny red and green monstrosities.

The irken was muttering to himself about the snow, about the cold, about this stupid holiday but, mostly about the stupid boy who lived down the street who just had to go and start asking stupid questions about couples.

The same boy who conveniently turned the corner at the same time that Zim did, effectively crashing into each other and sending the box flying and both of them to the ground in a heap of limbs and curses.

"Damn, I'm sorr—Zim."

The alien had been flailing about, ready to destroy whoever had knocked him over when he heard the voice, smelt the familiar warm scent and froze. "Stink-Boy."

The human untangled himself and shoved to his feet, holding out a hand to help the irken up. Said irken scowled at the hand and pushed it away before struggling to his own feet. Dib smiled at this and put his hands back in his pockets because they were getting cold, and like a moron he had no gloves. The smile faded though when he saw the large box of God Knows what at their feet.

"Sorry. Um, what were you doing?" Dib asked awkwardly. Ever since their fight a few days ago, he'd been trying to get up the nerve to go talk to Zim. Try to make up. At first he'd been thinking of ways to try to bring Zim around to his way of thinking.

But, then he'd realized that that wasn't what he wanted. Sure, it would be nice to take it to another level with the stubourn jerk. But, mostly he just wanted his enemy and sort of friend back.

Zim blinked at the question, seemingly unsure and surprised before sniffing with all the indignacny of a king who had stepped in something nasty and picking up his box with difficulty.

"Not that it's any of your business but, I was going in the general direction of your um, household." Now it was Dib's turn to be astonished. 1. Because Zim had actually answered his question. And 2. Because he'd been doing the same thing. But, years of experiencing first hand Zim's stupidity had increased his reaction time on most everything.

A dark brown brow arched. "But, it involves me. Doesn't that make it my business?"

The Irken had obviously not considered this and it showed in his expression. "Wha-? No." He said with extreme stubbornness and outright outrage all hidden beneath one syllable.

"Okay." Dib conceded, feeling a rush of affection that wasn't new to him, towards Zim. He decided just to cut to the heart of it all instead of running in circles like they were bound to do. "Look Zim,…I…when I talked about, um that couple stuff…."

The human shook his head, scythe lock bouncing with the motion, a low flush covering his face from how stupid he'd been. "I just, I shouldn't have. You're Zim. An Irken Invader. I know for a fact that the very idea disgusts and confuses you…I-I don't want to pressure you. Or ruin what we have." He couldn't risk losing Zim. Not his alien. Not his present that he'd prayed so hard for.

"I know that Invaders need no one and—I'd rather be your enemy and sort-of friend than lose you to my own stupid human em—" He was cut off when Zim's black rubber (and therefore cold) hand sovered his mouth, effectively stopping any words from babbling themselves out into the open.

"Silence, puny-brained-thing." Zim said affectionately. The irken dug into the cardboard box, whicn made horrible noises (cats screeching, buzz saws whirling, elephants honking) before Zim pulled out something shiney, red with little green leaves. A closer inspection revealed shimmering red berries, bright green leaves, all nestled around a big, beautiful crystal.

Dib felt frozen. More than frozen. The feeling just increased as Zim held it above their heads. The human's golden eyes went from the mistletoe to Zim, mistletoe, Zim…"Wha-What is that? What are you doing, Zim?"

The irken's cheeks puffed out with annoyance, disguised eyes narrowing. The other hadn not holding the plant went to his hip.  
>"Are you telling Zim that you don't understand your own disgusting, holiday traditions?"<p>

"Y-you mean…?"

Zim rolled his large eyes and waggled the mistletoe between their faces. "Yes. Now kiss me before I change my mind and shove this plant up yo—Mmph!" Dib's lips were warm compared to the cold air. Soft too. They tasted like spearmint which was oddly not unpleasant. There on his tongue was determination. The solider he'd seen in cold copper eyes. The one that had convinced him to compromise. Sometimes a good solider had to make sacrifices in order to get results.

Zim dropped the box again, his hands fluttering way too femininely to the human's chest. It wasn't all that bad, he rationalized, he would just have to ration the affection. Treat it like a reward system foe the stink-brain.

Dib pulled away, blushing and blinking like he'd been stuck in a dark room forever and the lights had just been turned on. Zim smirked just plain evilly and threw the mistletoe into the box which squeaked like a dying mouse.

The human cleared his throat. "What else—" His voice still sounded high pitched, so he did it again. "What else do you have in there?" A thumb gestured, as nonchalantly as possible at the box.

"I'll show you." Zim reached in and pulled out a brightly wrapped package. The bow was metal. The wrapping paper brilliant pink with little irken signs. The box itself was about the length of Zim's palm and two fingers wide.

The irken shoved it at Dib, presenting it like it was the most wonderful package in the entire universe and that Dib would never receive nor look upon such an amazing sight ever again.

The teen fought the urge to snicker, and grabbed the box before he dug in his trench coat pocket and pulled out his own box with bright yell smiley faces on the wrapping. It was two hands wide and about a foot long. It was extremely skinny however, only a centimeter or two in thickness.

Zim stared vacantly, taking his package carefully, greed filling his eyes. At the same time the two boys ripped into them. Dib blinked. Once and then twice before he fully realized jus what it was he held in his hands. All at the same time his heart squeezed so painfully that his chest ached and it also dropped all the way to his snow covered boot tips.

"Oh…it's a deadly laser attachment…for my…Swiss army knife…"

Zim's claws tore into the happy faces, giggling gleefully before he too froze. A few seconds of incomprehension passed. Two beautiful, skinny and obviously expensive twin blades. They were retractable ones.

The kind that would fit easily (with some minor adjustments) inside his favorite boots with the built in warmers and fuzzy innards, but were made from the finest Blargon leather and therefore slick and deadly. They would come out at the click of a heel and be ready for any action.

The kind of boots that he wasn't wearing now. The kind that he'd sold at the stupid Prawn shop down town to buy the Dib that laser attachment.

Dib bit his lip as he felt the empty pocket space where his Swiss army knife had been yesterday and wasn't any longer.

"Zim, I wished you hadn't—"  
>"You stupid human, I—"<p>

Dib looked away from his gift and up at Zim who was looking about as lost as he was. The daggers were beautiful, shining in the evening sun. His eyes flew to the boots. Only find that said boots weren't there. Just old rainboots that Zim broke out on rare occasions when he didn't want to chance his precious shoes being destroyed. "Zim…where…?"

"Zim sold them." He said snobbishly, a finger stroking the blade softly, liking how he could see his reflection in it. It was…nice of the Dib. He'd been looking for something like these. Perhaps he would use that reward system later to thank him.

Dib scoffed and shook his head. "I sold my Swiss Knife to buy you those." The human chuckled softly. "I can't believe this. It's like that one Christmas story."

"What?" Zim asked, not looking away from the shiny, shiny knives. Dib shook his head.

"Never mind. This was really awesome of you though, Zim. Thanks." Wide, disguised eyes finally flickered to the human and the irken nodded.

"I am, uh pleased that yo—" For the billionth time that day Zim was cut off. Only it wasn't by Dib or by a kiss or by anything that should've cut him off. Instead it was an inhuman roar that drowned him out. It came from the sky. Or rather from behind Zim.

The human screamed, and threw himself at the irken. They went tumbling through the snow, sliding across the ice and slush, rolling to a stop as they hit the edge of the sidewalk with a painful thunk. A flash of bright, violent red and another deafening roar. Zim poked his head up out of the snow pile they'd made, mouth falling open.

Dib was already on his feet, frost covering him from head to toe. The creature had moved on, having spotted a festive looking store front.

"I-Is that…?"

Zim gulped. "The Santa suit that I created from a Vortian liquid substance also filled with a million tiny hard drives all downloaded with data on Santa that I wore to try to make you all slaves and then began to try to take over my body because of all the jolliness and eventually won and then you blew a hole in it, allowing me to shrink it and you to shoot it into the cold, void of space?"

"Yeah." Dib replied weakly.

"Yep."  
>-<p>

**INTERMISSION**


	5. Chapter 3 Part 2

**All I Want For X-Mas  
>Chapter Three, Part Two<br>**

The alien dug himself out of the snow bank, scowling unhappily. Now he was cold. He caught a glisten out of the corner of his eye and gasped when he saw his daggers. He broke into a run, snatched up the two beautiful knives and held them close. Dib walked over to stand next to the irken.

"I can't believe…it's been four years…I thought it was dead. W-we sent it into space." He shook his head. "How?"

Growling, Zim spun on the human. "Because I created it!"

Dib blinked, before his expression mimicked the alien's. "Well, We have to do something." The teenager felt a string rush of that familiar emotion; the one that had motivated him for years to be the savior of this fellow humans. If it was possible, the alien's grimace grew ten-fold.

"Like what? That thing," A sharp finger shot outward at the huge glob of jolly old man, as it stumbled around, sucking up Christmas energy. "nearly killed us the last time we took it on! What can we do?" Zim would've much rather gone home, and ate sweets in a cocoon of soft, fuzzy blankets. MAYBE take the Dib-thing with him. Maybe.

Dib's face darkened, sharpening. "I don't know. But, the town will be destroyed. Maybe even the world and I won't let that happen. "The irken blinked uncomprehendingly at first, taking in the determined expression on the human's pinkened face. Dib pulled out the deadly laser from his pocket and grinned.

"Why don't we use our gifts to take down this greasy fat man?" Zim saw in the golden eyes that solider. The one who didn't hesitate to do what was nessacary and with no thought of self preservation.

The alien scowled, thinking for a few seconds. This was Earth. The place he'd wanted to destroy for so long. But, now that he was living here indefinitely…might as well protect it and get as much fun out of ti as possible.

"Move out of my way, Dibbling." Zim shouted, shoving the teenager. "I got a jolly fat man to annihilate." Dib's uncertainty grew into a large grin, as he followed along behind his alien.

"I'm right behind you, Alien-Monster." Dib replied cheerily.

-**-**-**-

They planned, or at least Dib attempted to plan while Zim bounced up and down eagerly. "Come on, come on, come on. Give me two minutes with that Santa suit and I'll destroy him!"

"Zim, no. We have to plan this carefully. If we go in there with no idea—"

"Who cares?"

"I care!"

"That doesn't matter! Come on!" Zim screeched, getting overly excited and jumping on top of Dib, digging his claws into the boy's neck.

"Ow! I hate you!" They spent a good three minutes bickering, in which Zim drew blood, Dib whined like the angst-y emo boy he was and people screamed, the Santa having knocked down several buildings. "Fine! We'll do it your way. But, if I die…I'll haunt your ass forever."

"GREAT!" Zim finally released the teenager, and put both hands on his hips, 'sniffing' the air. Dib scowled, rubbing his neck and watching the irken who raised a hand and pointed at a telephone pole across the town. "There! We can electrocute the fat man to death! MWA HA HA!" Dib rolled his eyes while Zim rubbed his hands together evilly.

"Sure, Moron. You go do that. I'll distract him!" No use in talking anymore, he figured, nodding once at the irken before running off, deadly laser attachment gripped tightly in his left hand. Tiny elves were separating from the suit, giggling manically and gathering decorations, screaming people for their master.

Dib ran in a circle around the giant ol' man. "Hey! Santa! Look at me! I've been a bad boy. Destroy me, you old creeper!"

Utterly befuddled, the Santa spun around on his eight spider candy cane legs, crushing several people in the process. The human winced, before his eyes widened as the Santa roared and began to come at him. Dib screamed and began to run in the direction of the telephone pole. The little elves seemed to notice their master's goal and began to chase after him too.

Dib cursed, "That alien better be doing his job."

-**-

Zim panted as he ran over the hill, seeing the evil Santa as it stampeded through the town. His feet were cold, and made scattered tracks in the snow. Frantic, the alien felt the tiniest bit of uncertainty when he heard the faint scream of the human-Dib.

'He'll be fine. Your solider will be fine.' Zim scoffed, at the absent thought, catching sight of the telephone pole as he spun around a slippery corner. Of course, blocking his way was a plethora of screeching idiots, dogs of all shapes and sizes, fallen Christmas decorations, evil elves and worst of all…children.

He withdrew in horror, before straightening up and running in head first. "Move it! Out of my way, flilthes!" When he came out the other side, he felt traumatized but, triumph. His spider legs came out and dug themselves into the wooden post, helping him climb up and up and up.

From the top Zim could see the Evil Santa as it stormed through the city, completely obliterating whole buildings like they were chips to step on and crunch up. Dib looked so tiny next to something so colossal. For the first time, the Irken doubted his plan.  
>"No. It will work. My plans always work."<p>

Dib screamed in that high pitched way of his, beginning to run backwards so he could pull out his Deadly Laser Attachment and activate it. Red blades of light shot out and made an audible sizzling noise on the delicious candy legs. "HA! Take that you giant pedophile! Your clothes won't be the only thing that's red when I'm done with you!"

Said leg crashed down only a few inches from him, causing a frightened squeak to escape from his mouth that at any other time would've made him completely embarrassed. To his relief, he could see Zim on top of the pole.

"Now, Zim, Now!" He flailed. The irken shook his head, knowing that this had to be timed with precision or else it wouldn't work and they would fail.

Dib kept running, pressing himself up against the pole as Santa grew closer and closer. Red, bloody drool dripped in large amounts from the Jolly Fat man's mouth as its giant, clawed tongue blasted out from the depths.

"ZIM!"

The irken withdrew his new daggers and with one quick movement sliced the power lines. The wires jumped with electricity that had nowhere else to go. Sparks danced and the lines conveniently flopped only a few centimeters from Dib before bouncing back up again and hitting Evil Santa.

The rubber and the mysterious Vortian substance reacted with the electricity, quickly expanding. The eyeballs swelled to almost twice their size before they burst. Dib curled into a little ball to escape the oncoming rush of violent red liquid that exploded all across the town.

The little elves shriveled into nothingness and everything that had been sucked into Santa for the X-mas energy fell out in a heap. Screeching in agony, Santa dashed into space to gather power until the next year.

Dib spluttered, pulling himself from the mess. People cheered, but not for them but for the fact that tons of soggy presents littered the streets. "Zim?"

He spun around and saw a small indenture in the snow in the shape of an irken invader. The teenager gasped and looked in the hole. "Zim?" The irken made no noise, having gotten the brunt of the blow, plus a neat electrical shock from using his metal daggers against highly electric wires.

The teen dragged Zim out of the snow and brushed away a glob of Santa flesh. "Zim? Are you okay?" His voice cracked, obnoxiously. "Hey…Zim. Wake up. Wake up, you dumb alien!"

A clawed hand smacked the left side of his face. "Oh shut it, I'm fine. Stop whining."

Zim groaned, opening his eyes to see the rather upset looking boy who suddenly snatched the alien to him, fusing their mouths together. Zim let it happen, if only to appease Dib's minor panic attack. Plus, the boy was warm. Too warm to be fair.

Before he knew it, his arms had wrapped themselves around the human's neck.


	6. Chapter 4 FINAL

**All I Want For X-Mas**

**Chapter Four –FINAL-**

There was nothing that Zim hated more than being too warm or too cold and for a long, long time he'd been way too cold for comfort. He'd been so jealous of the stupid human's heat, the way that Dib could keep it all to himself so easily.

Maybe it was a stupid reason to be jealous of someone but, to Zim it was perfectly reasonable. However, he was currently appeased. Appeased and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Gir was tearing into the empty cardboard from all the presents that Santa had exploded everywhere, and then in turn that folks had discarded on their driveways. The house was wonderfully dim and aside from the robot's antics and the stupidity coming from the television, it was quiet.

Dib was asleep. Big head lolling, mouth open, drool coming from the tinted pink lips. Zim rolled his eyes at the human who of course couldn't see the attitude. The irken watched the boy from across the room, leaning against the doorway of his living room.

After the whole ordeal…the goo, and the screaming and then there was the Santa thing too. Well, Dib had passed out, leaving Zim to drag him home. The alien realized that his solider was quite fragile in comparison to Irkens. He would have to fix that somehow.

A loud snore interrupted his musings. "Yes, I know you're sleeping, Dib-Stink." He knew that Dib was okay because all his vitals were fine. It was just the boy being stubborn. So without further ado the alien strode over to the couch and flopped down on top of Dib, trying to get a reaction. Only the reaction was from him as he jumped up a few milliseconds later cursing in pain, rubbing a spot on his chest.

With a low growl his hand shot into the boy's jacket, digging into the leather pocket and yanking out something…

It was like those stupid things that the Saucer Morons had on their heads. Nearly gray with flaking silver paint chips, a tiny button that hardly did anything. A small string hung from the top of the object. Underneath the tiny ship, black sharpie proudly proclaimed the thing as Dib's UFO.

Zim rolled his eyes and chucked the thing. The stupid boy didn't need a plastic alien ship. Not when he had the real thing laying on top of him, waiting to test out the affection ratios, with burning questions about what being a couple entailed (could he still call him names and chain him to lab tables?).

Still he guessed, since the boy had gone through so much…and Dib had been nice enough to get him the knives and…well he was just so sinfully warm…

Zim sighed. He GUESSED that Dib could sleep a while longer.

The irken rolled his eyes once more for good measure and pride, before curling up into the human's warm on that cold Christmas day.


End file.
